Author and screenwriter Sai Marie Johnson has spoken out about being voluntarily celibate since 2020, following a series of toxic relationships with men. Johnson, who identifies as sex-positive, believes that the current climate has emboldened men to practice misogyny, particularly through reproductive coercion and the restriction of access to abortion. This has led some women to turn to voluntary celibacy as a means of reclaiming control over their bodies and lives.
Johnson’s decision to speak out about her celibacy comes at a time when there is a growing trend of young people, particularly women, choosing to remain celibate or virgins. This trend is not necessarily driven by conservative politics or a lack of awareness about sexuality, but rather by a desire to prioritize their own needs and boundaries. Johnson notes that as a mother, she is teaching her daughter about the importance of consent and boundaries, and encouraging her to make her own choices about her body and relationships.
The trend of voluntary celibacy is also reflected in the rise of social media influencers like Ida, who has gained a following on TikTok by speaking out about her own decision to remain a virgin. Ida’s openness about her sex life, or lack thereof, has sparked a conversation about the cultural pressures and expectations surrounding sex and relationships. Despite the potential risks and challenges of speaking out about such personal topics, Ida believes that it is worth it to help others feel less alone and more empowered to make their own choices.
The phenomenon of young people choosing to remain celibate or virgins is complex and multifaceted, and cannot be reduced to a single cause or explanation. However, it is clear that the current cultural climate, which emphasizes the importance of consent, boundaries, and self-empowerment, is playing a role in shaping the way that young people think about sex and relationships. As sexual culture critic and editor at Playboy, Magdalene Taylor notes, “there are a lot of other cultural reasons that young people are not having sex that don’t really correlate at all to conservative politics or religion or a lack of awareness about sexuality.” Instead, Taylor suggests that many young people are trading traditional markers of adulthood, including sex and relationships, for a more digitized life.